Monday, April 13, 2009

Surgery tomorrow??

So, the day has finally come. I am still in somewhat of disbelief. It seems like i have been waiting for the day to come forever, and at the same time, i feel like the time flew by too fast. So i will be in the hospital a night or two according to the doctor, but for sure I will beg to stay as long as i can. Resting is much easier at the hospital if you have 2 small children at home. I cannot understand how someone can undergo this surgery and be ready to walk out of the hospital the next day.

I got through the chemotherapy treatments by telling myself over and over "it will be over soon." I tried to convince myself that once the treatments were over , i would begin to feel like myself again. This couldn't be the case when i think of it now. You can't take this tough medicine, which generally poisons you, for 6 months and expect all the side effects to vanish over night. The fatigue seems to be dissipating, but the other side effects seem to be growing, and new ones pop up each day.

I start the next chapter in denial. The title of the chapter is "After the surgery, things will return to normal." As I realize this is most likely not the case, It is what i need to hear right now. I will continue to tell myself this, as long as it works. Well, until i realize that i need a new chapter-" After radiation, things will return to normal." Ha! In all reality my friends, I really do believe that there is no such thing as normal, and we just do our best to cope with the changes to our ever-evolving lives. May Allah help us all (especially me) to cope to the best of our ability without whining or complaining.


Bama Bedouin said...

Assalamu alaykum,

I love you. I will be praying for you - extra hard :)

On a lighter note, I have found that bursting our into uncontrollable sobs will usually get you and extra night or two in the hospital. Try it, for real!

SRG said...

You are so right - there is no such thing as normal! You are going to do great tomorrow and the recovery is going to go well.


UmmFarouq said...

Yes, turn on the faucets o' tears. Please. I want you to take it easy and rest--as much as you possibly can.

Love you.