Chemo and teeth?

Today's unexpected chemo complication:

It is well known that chemo affects teeth- only emergency dental work is allowed. How about this one: As I sit to get a filling of a painful cavity, the doctor numbs the area and starts to drill. I FEEL EVERYTHING! So he stops, takes time to numb me agin, much better this time until I cant feel much of anything, drills again, and I FEEL EVERYTHING! He numbs me again and lets it set in, comes back, and by this time, I know I bit myself, but no clue what I bit because I can't feel anything in my mouth. He starts to drill again, and I FEEL EVERYTHING! Sooooooo, they pack in the cavity with a temporary filling and tell me to come back again soon and we would try again.

I asked what was going on, and the dentist said this is a complication of the chemotherapy. I haven't done much research on it yet, I just got home with my swollen jaw, but it seems weird. So basically, I have to keep going back while they drill a little each time until they get the whole cavity. OUCH!


And the fun continues... Alhamdulillah.

“And be patient, indeed Allah is with the patient ones.” (8:46)

A-salaam alaykum to you all.

I know that Allah gives us tests to see if we will have patience, and at the same time, for us to learn patience. Seems to me though, without patience you cannot learn it. It takes so much patience just to get through the process of learning patience.

I always considered myself to be a very impatient person. We were raised with the luxury of instant gratification. Whoever thought getting exactly what you wanted, as soon as you wanted it, would be anything but a blessing? Being spoiled with this need for instant gratification robs us of the mechanism to develop patience. I find myself trying to fight that.

Another point is that it always isn’t obvious if a person has patience. For example, I don’t smile a lot, so people think this means I am not happy. (this is not the truth most of the time.) I stay calm, so they assume I have buckets of patience. I guess when you think about it another way, patience is different for every person. People show patience in different ways, just like people grieve or show happiness in other ways. Patience can really only be judged by Allah.

I ask Allah to increase me and you all in patience …..

Suhaib ibn Sinan narrated that the Prophet (s) said: “How remarkable is the case of the believer! There is good for him in everything, but this is not the case for anyone except for the believer. When the believer receives any good, he is thankful to Allah, and gets a reward. And when some misfortune befalls him, he endures it patiently, for which he is (also) rewarded.”

Light at the end of the tunnel??

Think about this: In general it is better to see light at the end of the tunnel. In dealing with cancer, I was advised instead to see the light at the end of each treatment.

So far the best piece of advice I was given from anyone, was from a nurse in the hospital who had breast cancer that recurred twice since her original diagnosis. She spoke with such a positive and beautiful spirit. She told me that I should never focus on the big picture. Seems at first to be really odd advice. It seems focusing on the big picture, getting rid of the cancer all together would help a person in their treatment. She went on to explain that the best way to get through treatment is to focus only on the actual treatment you are having.

So only think of getting through each chemotherapy treatment, or whatever you are in at that point. Now this makes too much sense. Focusing on the big picture, in most cases, is tough because treatment in most cases is sooo long. For me, for instance, treatment will be at least a year, then a ton of tests for years after this. Thinking of each chemo cycle, means only getting through three weeks at a time. Energy seems to be more focused this way and you focus on getting over each small hill, instead of climbing the mountain all at once.


For me at least, this makes so much sense, and it is helping me to keep a positive outlook. I deal with only side effects, illness, tiredness, and the fear of the actual process I am undergoing. At this point, I am staying focused, and refuse to get bogged down in how long this whole process will last.

I thank Allah for putting that nurse in my path. She was not someone I would have met in treatment. A lab tech who took my blood asked me why I was always in the lab for blood tests, and I told her my condition. She arranged to have me meet this nurse to talk to her the next time I came for blood testing. Allah puts people in our paths everyday. Wisdom comes from all places. We should keep our minds and hearts opened to this.

Eid Mubarak to you all...

First, Eid Mubarak to you all. I ask Allah to give you many blessings, and make you aware of them and thankful for them.

This is the first year my children are old enough to really get what Eid is, but I think we will be spending it at home. I will do my best to make them feel it is a special day. I feel I will be too tired to drag them around and watch them as they run through crowds of people.

Almost two weeks since my last chemo treatment, so I will do my best to talk myself into a high level of energy, so I can get some long put-off chores done. I am and always have been a major procrastinator. I do not need a reason to put anything off. Now, I have an automatic excuse for putting off everything.

Is there a cure for procrastination? I have asked many people who are not procrastinators this questions, and let me tell you, no light was shined on the problem with their answer. Almost in the same exact words their advice is to do whatever you have to do as soon as you know you need to do it. As self-elected queen of procrastinators everywhere, I tell you organized and severly punctual people that this advice is hilarious. It is like telling an anorexic "just eat" or telling a pyromaniac to put down the matches. I have come to believe that procrastination is really similar to an addiction. I think the only true cure for any major personality flaw or addiction is a complete new way of life, and none of this comes overnight. Living an Islamic lifestyle definitely is a key to success in getting rid of bad habits.

May Allah make us all productive and energetic during this Eid, and may He help us all to put our best Islamic foot forward....

How are you doing????

So it's Friday, and that means as I go through my day at school (teaching second grade at the local Islamic school) there are tons of extra people around that I do not see every day. So this is the day to prepare an answer to the ever pressing question "How are you doing?"

Honestly, It is not that I mind the question really, It only means that people care. The problem is, as a person going through chemotherapy, I am not even sure how I feel. Reality is that how I feel changes every five seconds. The fluctuation is so much, that within ten minutes, if I answer the question ten times, I may give ten different answers. So I have reverted to the failsafe "alhamdullilah!" Can't go wrong there now, can you?

I feel that I push myself way beyond what my actual abilities are right now, or rather beyond what I really should do. The reason why is I really feel terrible to be looked at with pity. I don't want for people to feel sorry for me. I guess I feel that Allah has tested me with this for some reason, and if that is so, people should not feel sorry for me. I'm tough, and I believe in what Allah has for me. In order to minimize the people who become sad, I push through the pain and this actually becomes a big help in day to day progress in the fight against this illness. I think it also helps others increase their faith in the fact that Allah can truly make the hardest things easy.

I ask Allah to make things easy for all the Muslims in whatever hardship they find themselves in. Ameen.....

Are we really supposed to hide?

I have been feeling tired from the chemo and anemia. I am trying my best to push through it.

So, the major thought on my mind this week has been, are we really supposed to hide the fact that we have this sickness? I realize that talking about our private parts is taboo, but we are sick, and people can learn methods of early detection by talking about this. I was told by a radiologist that there was a patient with the exact condition I have, and she was only 14 years old. 14! 1-4! I mean, how many of us have taught the young teens in our families about the subject of breast health? Do they know what a self breast exam is, or is this just something that we should not talk about. This can save their life. If a woman has no idea the general state of her breast, she will not feel a lump or tissue changes when they happen. The worst thing for breast cancer is to go unchecked.

Can we not discretely teach the women , both young and old, in our communities about this without loosing our modesty? The answer must be yes. We have to do this. It is a duty.

First Post

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

As-salaam alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

I am new to this blogging phenomenon, although one of my best friends has been keeping her own blog (and it is quite popular) for years now. So I guess we could start off with an introduction. My name is UmmZakaria, I am a 32 year old American Muslimah, mother of two sweet toddlers, and a recent "diagnosee" of inflammatory breast cancer.
You know, I really have always been a healthy person. Other than pregnancy related visits, or complications from pregnancy, I had never been a patient in a hospital, alhamdullilah. So when in September of 2008 I had beginning symptoms of IBC, I was not seriously alarmed. I called the doctor for an appointment, and many Dr. appointments and one month later from the first symptoms, I was diagnosed with breast cancer that was almost at stage 4. Alhamdullilah, alhamdullilah, alhamdullilah, I have to say, what a blessing that this cancer did not reach stage four. This specific kind of cancer is so aggressive that it can do in one month what most breast tumors would take years to do (but i will get into the specifics of my diagnosis later.)
Sure, I wanted to start this blog to shine a light on breast cancer for Muslim women who usually do not discuss such things. However, the medical side can be found on countless websites. I think its important for Muslimahs with cancer to talk with other Muslim women about how to deal with cancer and how to deal with the treatment for it. This illness that can zap you and make you feel that you want to give up(And if the illness doesn't zap you, the treatment definitely will.)

Maybe in sharing our experiences we can really focus on our faith, and focus on devotion and purifying our intentions for Allah's sake to claw our way through treatment, and kick this cancer in the butt.

I pray for all who read this to always be healthy and not to ever have to face cancer, and I ask Allah, The Lord of the great throne to heal all those Muslim women who are currently fighting cancer.